Am I Lame?

Is it lame to write online like this?

I have to think, who am I writing this blog for? 

Am I writing it for myself, or for my family, or for people I don't know?

When I first started writing in August 2014 I wanted to do it for myself. To keep a record of what we were doing. A bit like an 'online' diary. But I worked out soon enough that obviously an online diary can only contain certain information. There are just some things in life I don't want to put out there! Things that are better kept in my written journal that is in my bedside table for only me to see. So obviously this blog needed an audience. It can also get a little boring just writing for yourself  *hi me*. 

So I thought, well this blog could be good for family to follow our travels. And a few selected friends. So I gave the address to a handful of people. Which is were I am at right now *waving hello to family and selected friends*.  

But I have to be careful. Because when one starts writing for an audience it starts to become slanted and bias.  Like, am I going to write a post on 'my kids are being a pain in the arse' or am I only going to write the la de da side of things. Oh we are off on a picnic and life is roses. 

Then I think, should I just put it on Facebook for all to see?  Whats the harm in letting anyone who wants to have a read follow along. Should I get some business cards made with my 'blog' address on it. Handing them out to fellow travellers in the camp kitchen like 'hi my name is shantelle and I have a blog'. Nah, that is just a touch carried away. 

I only have about three people that I have ever hated in my life. One of them was a girl in high school lets call her ZD. A total and utter bitch who stole my lunch order out of the box so I had no lunch. Who sniggered and picked on me for my hair, my clothes and basically made my life hell for the year I had to associate with her. Then there are the other two people who I would use the H word for, but we won't go into who they are, my point is do I want these people reading my blog? what if they found it through a friend of a friend. Do I want them knowing my business? 

And then theres the thinking about writing for an audience,  even my small audience, and an insecurity that creeps in. Will they like it? are they bored? am I a good enough writer? is my spelling ok? are they judging the content of my posts? Do they like my green background and boarders?

I follow a few travel blogs and a few 'mum' blogs. These people often wear their hearts on their sleeves. Thats what makes it a good read. It makes you feel like you know them. Like we are friends. Can I be good enough to write like that? And can I cope with the criticism that comes with expressing your own thoughts and feelings? What if I write about a town say, and write that 'its a great place' and some random comes on and says 'you idiot no it is not'. Will I start crying and delete the whole thing?

Theres also the security aspect. I am putting my kids photos on this. What if a sicko is reading this and then sees my kids in a playground and approaches them and knows enough information about us to plot a kidnapping. 

OH DEAR.

Because I am new to all this maybe I am getting carried away. Like my grandparents did when they got a plastic card to get money out of an ATM. 

Maybe I need to just be savvy. 

And maybe since it is my blog, I can write whatever I want. If people don't like it, well they can bugger off, right?