I am one of those weird people who loves studying. I like the sense of achievement. I like that it is something that can never be taken away from me. You can burn my house, steal my clothes off my back. But you cannot take knowledge out of my head.
I am not particularly academic, but I manage to pass everything I do, and I have studied in some hard situations. My final unit in my under graduate was completed with a six month old baby who I had to leave with my mum two nights a week to be on campus and then I had to study around her naps. Then I did my ATP while pregnant with my second. I still managed to get a high distinction.
My post graduate study was done in between baby two and baby three and completed when baby three was two years old.
Then I have recently started my masters. I have done units while we were packing up in Kalgoorlie and while kids were at home on school holidays. We had no furniture set up and I had no babysitter. Juggling my laptop on my lap sitting on the bed with papers around me. Putting disney movies on to entertain the kids. And I still got marks in the 70%.
So I thought it would be a breeze to study while travelling. And this semester I enrolled in a research unit as part of my Masters of Education.
But yesterday I sat down and read the unit outline. For the first time in my life I had no passion for it. I felt overwhelmed and a little sick at the thought of submitting assignments online with no guaranteed wi fi. No printer. Limited space for books. No library. I started working through each obstacle and then went, nah. Not this time sunshine.
So today I made the call. One that hurt my pride. But one that I had to make.
I deferred my studies for a year.
I want to enjoy our holiday. I don't care if I don't finish my studies till Im 60. I just don't want the stress of it right now.
Ahhh a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
And I look forward to studying once again when I have a proper house and a proper desk and proper time to do it.